Friday, 2 October 2015

Millionaire Lifestyle

Hip hip hooray
we're on the Headway Holiday,
blue skies above
blue sea in the bay.

We took in the sights
of the Isle of Wight,
the Botanic Gardens of Ventnor
what glorious flora we saw.

As a group we did partake
in the joy of Millionaire's Shortcake,
baked by Sally's friend Jane
efforts to resist were in vain.

We marvelled at Victoria & Albert's
former house,
and the acres of woodland
where the gentry shot grouse.

Now we're sat on the ferry
memories making us merry,
Headway beckons
best holiday ever - Karl reckons.

Biscuit:  Homemade Millionaire's Shortcake
Taste test: 10 out of 10 (dee-lish-us)
Cost: Made by Jane Avery, Sally the chef's friend

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

On your metal

Alchemists of old
Lied to turn lead into gold.

Brass-necked, bold as bronze,
They spoke with silver tongues.

Slippery and variable,
Fickle as nickel, mercurial,

Hard of heart, like steel,
Pursuing their dream and their deal.

For the transformation of zinc
These charlatans struggled to think.

Secrets circulated amongst ‘em
But still they couldn’t make tungsten.

But now the copper strikes his iron fist
And alchemy has vanished in time’s mist,

Although sadly now new scams abound.
In banks, on line, nowhere is safe for your pound.

Modern tricksters your gold will take
And turn it to a leaden fake.

Biscuit:  McVitie's Gold Bar
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: £1 per pack of 8 from The 99p Store

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

What is beauty?

Butterflies all of a flutter
Melted butter on a crumpet
The smell of burning rubber*
Flickering embers of a bonfire
Folding back the covers of a freshly made bed
The warmth and scent of a just baked loaf
The clink of an ice cube in a single malt
Crunch of footsteps in new fallen snow
The twang of Jimmy Hendrix's guitar
Cheek to cheek with Brian the ballroom master
The velvety feel of a plush theatre seat
The late Lou Reed singing Sweet Jane

Beauty is in the ear, nose and throat of the beholder,
Our perceptions alter as we grow older,
Beauty is a personal point of view,
What you admire is up to you.......

*Karl's choice!

Biscuit: Hobnobs Choc Chip
Taste test:7 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Asda in Totton

Tuesday, 8 September 2015

A postcard to the refugees

We are thinking of you,
We wish you were here,
Instead of fleeing your homes
in ever present fear.
struggling to reach us anyway you can,
by boat or on foot across inhospitable land.

The desperation and hardship,
tortured lives so hard to endure,
the realisation only hit us
when Aylan washed up on a Turkish shore.

Please be wary,
European streets aren't paved with gold,
beware the traffickers,
to whom your lives may be sold.

Our thoughts are with you,
we are all hand in hand,
we urge you onwards,
to your chosen promised land.

Biscuit:  Tutku
Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Lee from his holiday in Turkey

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

All things Swiss

Mountainous heart of the Alps, Switzerland,
Landlocked land, no navy on hand,
Alpine flowers, Edelweiss and Gentian
Warrant a mention.

French, German, Italian are the resident tongues,
For their yodelling echoes they need big lungs,
Famous icons include Federer, Heidi and William Tell,
The brave St. Bernard and the clanging cow bell.

Biscuit: Kambly Coeur aux Noisettes
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: Pricey from Waitrose in Lymington

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Flapjack Jon

Unflappable Jon T
baked us some flapjacks
to inspire poetry.
He's tall and calm,
walks with a stick,
oozes kindness
but what makes him tick?
He's an enigma,
hard to define -
whilst his chocolate covered flapjacks
taste divine!
A picture of happiness
with inner charm,
a swooping eagle soars on his arm.
His canine friend Alfie
keeps him active and healthy,
for him it's claret and blue,
a Hammers fan
through and through!
Our Jon's forever young -
his football team
of grandchildren
promise him a lifetime of fun.

Biscuit:  Jon T's Flapjacks
Taste test: 9.9999 out of 10
Cost: Handmade by Jon T

Tuesday, 18 August 2015


Short and plain and round,
From Lidl and hardly more than a pound,
These biscuits claim to be a classic
But seem actually quite basic.

Eat too many and you’ll end up a fatty,
Not svelte like the chassis
Of a slim-line Bugatti
Or those other Italian sports car classics.

Nor slender like Margot Fonteyn,
Pirouetting round again and again,
Her audience deep in a trance
As she performs her classic Russian dance.

On his round, Aristotle
Drank one too many a bottle,
And Plato downed a short
As they discussed their classic thought.

Homer and Virgil chomp their lunchtime sandwiches
And chew on the complexity of classic languages
While we strain and struggle to rhyme
Asking, ‘Will our poems stand the test of time?’

We may wonder what their fate is.

Probably, we guess, not quite classic status. 

Biscuit:  Classic Shortbread Rounds
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: From Lidl in Totton, hardly more than a pound!