Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Elefunk


Plod, Plod, Flap, Swish
the proud elephant roams the jungle
scoffing bananas - his favourite dish
to placate the sound of his hunger rumble

Plod, Plod, Swish, Flap
the almighty beast cools his skin
showering dust upon his back
scouring the landscape for his kin

Plod, Swish, Plod, Flap
the lonely bull sleeps alone
longing for reunion during his nap
at daybreak, a triumph - his herd is home

Biscuit: Hawaiian Coconut Cookies
Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Sri Lanka


Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Reasons to be morbid


Why, now, are there so many atrocities?
like the murderous truck driver in Nice,
black Americans being killed by police,
it needs to cease - where's the peace?
There are too many deceased,
families are refusing to be appeased,
by the same tired governments ignoring their needs.
When they're not blaming everything on refugees,
their bringing the working class to its knees.
Time is running out on the planet's lease,
we're killing the bees, destroying the trees,
suffocating the world with corruption and sleaze.
Stop! We need a reprieve.

Biscuit: Amaretti Morbidi
Taste test: 7.5 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Italy

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Wish You Were Here?


Only mad dogs and English men
go out in the mid-day sun,
with hankies on their head
and tattoos on their bum.

Boiled pink lobsters
dominate the landscape,
with warm beer and rowdy cheer
I bet you wish
you were here.

Only two days to go
of the UK summer window,
perfect weather for Pokemon Go
time to fire up the BBQ
and flame grill a pikachu.

Biscuit: Chocolate Chip cookies
Taste test:  9.8 out of 10
Cost: From Lidl. 4 for £1. Thanks Anita!

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

No longer in the pink


We're no longer in the PINK
we're sitting on the brink
watching the UK sink
Politicians of every shade
are stepping aside
when we need them the most
they're all off to hide
Have they no pride?
For the BLUE team
Cameron's gone off in a huff
whilst the RED shadow cabinet
have disappeared in a puff
Farage's reached the end
of his PURPLE reign
Will he ever be seen again?
BLACK hearted Gove
stabbed Boris in the back
now he's moved on
to give the leadership a crack
The future is certainly not bright
our colourful world
is turning BLACK and WHITE
We need a RAINBOW or
a bright YELLOW sun
come on, sort it out
this just isn't fun!

Biscuit: Pink Panther Wafers
Taste test:  8 out of 10
Cost: Gift from Lee

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Things that give us joy




The nation's in meltdown,
our collective mood is dark.
but will the future really be so stark?

We need optimism in a heavy dose
here's a joyous list to make you feel less morose.

Things that give us joy
Feeding elephants
Grandchildren
Chocolate
Swimming in the sea
Family
Sleep
Reading a good book
A pink glittery scooter
Rollercoasters
Walks in the sunshine
Tattoos
The cinema
Smell of freshly cut grass
Proper summer
Singing
Smiles
Snow
Music
Dancing
Thunderstorms
Rainbows
Baby animals
Raw carrots
Smell of coffee
Friends
Tea
Horseriding
Love
Running
Exercise
Laughter
Adrenalin endorphins
Biscuits

Biscuit: Tuscan Shortbread Crescents Dipped in Chocolate
Taste test:  9 out of 10
Cost: From Tuscany

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Don't Forget To Vote!



Rich and Nutty
like Mr Johnson,
he wants us
to leave the EU,
do you?

Are you in or out?
Or do you shake it all about?
Everyone's confused
of that there is no doubt.

It's either Farage's barrage
of xenophobia,
or the Fat Cats and bureaucrats
(and not forgetting expats),
who have a lot to gain if we remain.

Where's the truth?
There's so much uncertainty
from every party,
experts are dismissed as liars
and we're inundated with misleading flyers.
There's so much at stake,
it's the biggest decision we'll make.

So think long and hard
when you go with your polling card,
vote with your gut feeling
not just with what sounds appealing.

Biscuit: Rich and Nutty Peanut Cookies
Taste test:  8.9 out of 10
Cost: From Tesco in Brockenhurst - made in the EU!

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Darkness Descends

Why do people administer
acts of darkness,
so abhorrent and sinister?

Last week football hooligans intent on violence,
succeeded in clouding the Euros in stunned silence.
Across the water innocent clubbers were felled,
by a rampant gunman on the road to hell.

Each week the headlines are more bleak,
we can't go on turning the other cheek
whilst a constant stream of extreme factions,
carry out senseless, brutal activity.

Wars have been fought over less,
why is the world in such a mess?

Biscuit: Loacker Gran Pasticceria Dark Hazlenut
Taste test:  9.9 out of 10
Cost: From Waitrose in Lymington