Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Flapjack Jon



Unflappable Jon T
baked us some flapjacks
to inspire poetry.
He's tall and calm,
walks with a stick,
oozes kindness
but what makes him tick?
He's an enigma,
hard to define -
whilst his chocolate covered flapjacks
taste divine!
A picture of happiness
with inner charm,
a swooping eagle soars on his arm.
His canine friend Alfie
keeps him active and healthy,
for him it's claret and blue,
a Hammers fan
through and through!
Our Jon's forever young -
his football team
of grandchildren
promise him a lifetime of fun.

Biscuit:  Jon T's Flapjacks
Taste test: 9.9999 out of 10
Cost: Handmade by Jon T

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Classics

Short and plain and round,
From Lidl and hardly more than a pound,
These biscuits claim to be a classic
But seem actually quite basic.

Eat too many and you’ll end up a fatty,
Not svelte like the chassis
Of a slim-line Bugatti
Or those other Italian sports car classics.

Nor slender like Margot Fonteyn,
Pirouetting round again and again,
Her audience deep in a trance
As she performs her classic Russian dance.

On his round, Aristotle
Drank one too many a bottle,
And Plato downed a short
As they discussed their classic thought.

Homer and Virgil chomp their lunchtime sandwiches
And chew on the complexity of classic languages
While we strain and struggle to rhyme
Asking, ‘Will our poems stand the test of time?’

We may wonder what their fate is.

Probably, we guess, not quite classic status. 

Biscuit:  Classic Shortbread Rounds
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: From Lidl in Totton, hardly more than a pound!

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Happiness



It's the simple things
in life that please:
sunshine, flowers,
a cool breeze.
Music, friends, dancing
and wine,
joining family - going out
to dine.

Lunchtime makes Brian happy
the 12 o'clock certainty of food
on his plate,
a sated smile - everyone's his mate.

60's music lifts Terry's spirits
shimmying with a gin & tonic
a gigantic grin,
his moves iconic.

Chocolate improves Paul's humour.
the whispered promise of a bite
a loud laugh
intimates his delight

Sunshine brightens Lee's mood
basking in the warmth of the rays,
a sun-kissed glow
Oh happy days!

Biscuit:  Deli Choc
Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: Buy one get one free offer (this was the free packet!)

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Go set a clock



Should unpublished books
be left to rest unread?
Better not to disturb the dead?
Leave sequels to our imaginations,
don't disappoint our great expectations.

Shield us from the mental struggle
of accepting Potter's transformation to muggle.
Harry Potter at the Chamber of Commerce
would spell a literary turn for the worse.

Who'd want to read about
Lady Chatterley's mother
or George Orwell's little brother
James Herbert's gerbils wouldn't scare
and nobody cares for Euston Bear!

Biscuit:  Tim Tams
Taste test: 7.7 out of 10
Cost: Gift from Denis

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

11:30am 7/7/15

S I L E N C E

I S

L A M E N T I N G

E V I L

N O X I O U S

C R U E L T Y

E V E R M O R E


Tuesday, 30 June 2015

A Poem that may drag on











Perhaps dragons derive from dinosaurs
rather than from mother-in-laws.

Although both are grim and fire-breathing,
there’s only one you can believe in.

Dragons are the villains of ancient fairy tales
and also the emblem of the flag of Wales.

Dragons spend their leisure
dwelling in a cave
filled with treasure,
saving energy for a weekend monster rave,
finding their pleasure
devising ways to misbehave.

Once, high overhead they flew
until along came St George and slew
the most fearsome but the last.
And now, alas, they live only in the past.


Biscuit:  Dibus Dragon Biscuits
Taste test: 8 out of 10


Cost: 99p from the 99p store

Friday, 26 June 2015

Have I got old news for you

Does old news simply go away
because it's not front page today?

Has everyone with Ebola recovered
or are there thousands more cases
 to be discovered?
Is Kathmandu recovering with slow trepidation
or are aftershocks still traumatising the nation?
Are migrants homeward bound on sturdy ships
or are they still making their one way death trips?

Is it the media who are obsessed with new
or is it that we don't want to be retold
the old?
Who knows?

Biscuit:  Cadbury's Caramel Biscuit
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: Gift from Paul